May 2013
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sluttyoliveoil:
sluttyoliveoil:
what does the teen boy say after murdering a man
haha no homo(cide)
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Walking with an umbrella in the rain
sodamnrelatable:
Expectation
Reality
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shadowgorawr:
lets play “how gay can you be with your best friend without it getting weird”
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phistbump:
i actually make myself laugh really hard so if no one else laughs it doesnt matter because i already made the most important person in the room laugh
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fwips:
oh man aggressively ordering me to do something i’m already doing/planning to do is pretty much guaranteeing that i’m going to stop doing it and take the time to just stare at you with a half blank half incredulous expression on my face
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cyberdepressed:
if u ever feel bad about urself just think about the people who use their selfies as their lock screen or wallpaper
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“The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so...”
– Alan Watts (via isolatedinhungerland)
jpierrepontcriss:
my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
meladoodle:
granddad this is the first dance of my wedding can you please stop trying to tell everyone to ‘open up the pit’
Sarah Walker: Hey, I just met you.
Sarah Walker: And this is crazy.
Sarah Walker: But here's my number.
Sarah Walker: So call me maybe and then I can introduce you to a world of spies and assassins, which I happen to be apart of. And then we can go through two and a half years of lies, secret love, heartbreak, and near-death experiences. And then we'll finally have sexy times and get married and dream of a family in my dream house. But then Quinn will ruin our lives when he erases my memo-
Sarah Walker: -Hey, I just met you.
apatows:
scott is my favorite kardashian sister
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Me: Im gonna have so much fun this weekend!
Me: *masturbates 4 times in a row and passes out*
spookymormon:
please stop asking me about my future ill cry
